Is there an Astrology of Serial Killers? Some look to the Mutable Signs—”moody, indecisive, subject to erratic behavior.” Others want to include Aquarius—”the sign of innovation, the ultimate outsider.” Still others look to water signs as the culprit—“a gross misuse of passions.”
Many convincing arguments and one fact: every sign of the Zodiac has its serial killer.
And, yet, as an Astrologer, it is my duty to remind you that no fate—of any person, place or event—can be whittled down to a single sign or Planet. The Cosmos is an elaborate system.
Sure, Sun Sign Astrology is good for some brilliant memes and the occasional spot-on character analysis, but it’s not the whole story. And right now, in the US where our penchant for distilled everything and shorthand thoughts are arguably exacerbating the crumbling of Democracy, astrology’s invitation to the whole story isn’t one to disregard.
Now that I’ve sucked the fun out of everything, I present Hannibal through the Signs of the Zodiac.
Which was a real doozy to write because, let’s face it, none of these characters are living their best selves. There was a sincere temptation to write the whole series off as a cliched Scorpionic drama—‘passionate, intense, will stab you in the back then eat you.”
But I didn’t. Because it’s important to remember that each of us is capable of being a truly awful person. Like I said, it’s complicated.
The sign of “I, me, mine,” according to Astrologer Rick Levine. And that sort of instinct needed to survive a serial killer father. Save yourself before you can save anyone else. True, Abigail may have been a little extra, but, generally, self-preservation doesn’t have to be selfish. Have some compassion for your Ram friends!
The most sensual sign of the Zodiac can get lost in material reality to the point of delusion. Like how Chilton sincerely believes his patient is the Chesapeke Riper—even though he made up that story! His love for the finer pleasures in life almost saves him when his ultra refined taste calls foul on Hannibal’s rotten mystery meat—but ultimately leads to his demise.
GEMINI—Brian Zeller & Jimmy Price
The thing about the Cosmic Twins is that they don’t always get along. But, regardless, their banter is mostly witty and entertaining. Gemini placements can feel like that Angel (Jimmy) on your shoulder, Devil (Brian) on the other, popping off IN YOUR HEAD all the time. But could you even go on with just one of them?
Once you slip past the crab’s pincers, you’re entwined in an emotional bond that’s damn near impossible to break. It takes a lot for the Mama of the Zodiac to cut you off forever ever. Especially when you’re her colleague who she treats like an estranged son (Will) or creepy favorite incest son (Hannibal). I mean how effed up was that double sex scene?
Is there anything more Leo than taking the heat for a crime you didn’t commit just so you can outshine everyone around you? No, there is not. Also, that cackle. And the way he rats out Will. He really does steal the show. Bravo, Gideon!
Natives of Mercury’s earthly domain live their life preparing for disaster, which makes them highly meticulous and good at hiding bodies. Think: cold, sensitive and armed with the kind of smarts that makes this combo downright dangerous. This should absolutely give you pause next time someone dismisses the nerd of the Zodiac.
Even in the early episodes when she was giving Will a hard time there was a pleasing quality to her interactions. Example: the way she tenderly adjusts his stance in the shooting range. This is someone who cared for others at the risk of losing herself. Which is ultimately what happens because—spoiler alert—Hannibal kills her, and this is arguably the greatest injustice of this entire show.
He wields a knife and collects his sister’s tears with a razor blade, which he then adds to his martinis. There’s even the distorted sex issues. And those passionate crazy eyes just before he flies off the handle—without ever actually flying too far off the handle. The Scorpion is, afterall, a silent killer. This is the worst case scenario for nocturnal Mars, so, please don’t judge your Scorpio friends by this marker.
This centaur just wants to run free except Daddy and Brother have thrown a dirty, wet blanket over her. Sure, that whole using Will to get a baby thing is a bit manipulative, but everyone knows Sagg needs to play and explore. And what’s more fun than making a baby?! Also, at her age, getting pregnant on the first try is nothing short of a Jupitarian miracle.
CAPRICORN — Jack Crawford
Ever think about how “Capricorn” and “Capricious” share a root word? Basically we’re dealing with someone who is moody af. And also someone whose adherence to rules can be downright blinding—or binding—at times. Like wtf? How does he not know HANNIBAL IS A CANNIBAL?! Is his Taurus Moon waaay too into those fancy dinners to accept the truth?
Those outfits—so Leo! But, hold the phone, Saturn’s on the line and he wants his rebel back. I have no idea when this show takes place, but Freddie is either blogging long before or way after blogs are cool. Sure she’s obnoxious to the point of being unbearable at times, but you can’t deny this outsider the role of visionary.
PISCES — Will Graham
People just assume that swimming in the infinite waters of the unconscious is a pleasant endeavor. But what if those waters are contaminated with blood and tears of the innocent? It’s one expansive nightmare, bb! After nightmare after nightmare! Like all aimless Fish of the Zodiac, Will suffers from ‘a major case of the feels.’ Some drink to numb the pain. Others confront it with mediation. Will indulges in a questionable relationship with his therapist and murder.
CV Henriette is an Astrologer, writer, and owner of Art of the Zodiac, which specializes in self-care for the Astro-friendly, as well as Astrological Chart readings, and much more. Check out her website at artofthezodiac.co, and be sure to follow her on Instagram at @art_of_the_zodiac.
This article is partnered with a Monthly Livestream of #Highstrology (ACRONYM of the Zodiac) in which we do deep dives on Pop Culture and mix it with Astrology with Ami Nicole of ACRONYM (who is usually stoned) and CV Henriette of Art of the Zodiac (the one who knows the Astros). Watch the video accompaniment to this piece after our live stream on October 30 at Noon EST. on Faceboook.com/acronymofficial or twitch.tv/acronymofficial.
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